"Why didn’t you negotiate your salary when I hired you? I would have given you more if you had asked!"
Those words from my former boss caught me off guard. At first, I didn’t fully grasp what she meant.
This statement came from one of my former bosses during my time as a textile designer. She was someone I deeply admired—a talented design director and an inspiring leader who empowered me as a female professional.
Months after I began working with her, she casually mentioned that I could have negotiated for a higher salary. I was shocked—I didn’t realize salary negotiation was even an option, let alone that I could have earned more if I had just asked.
Do you negotiate for a higher salary when you’re being hired?
According to the Pew Research Center, in 2023, 42% of women didn’t feel comfortable asking for higher pay the last time they were hired.
At the time, I didn’t believe I deserved to negotiate for more. I thought my hard work and capability were enough—but that I should simply be grateful for what I was offered. Like many women, I didn’t feel confident enough to ask, fearing it might come across as selfish or make me seem difficult to work with.
She also told me that I should always negotiate and ask for higher pay. Even if I get a “No,” I should ask anyway.
This was an eye-opening lesson, one that continues to shape how I approach both my career and personal life. Asking for what we want—whether in a professional setting or our personal lives—is never easy, especially if it doesn’t come naturally.
How often do we hold back from asking for what we truly want? Fear of rejection, self-doubt, or the belief that we don’t deserve it can keep us silent.
But the truth is, asking is a courageous act that propels us closer to the life we dream of. Whether it’s in our personal or professional life, these quotes inspire us to embrace the power of asking—and remind us that we’re worthy of what we seek.
Know What You Want
Before we can ask for what we want, we must first know what we desire. It’s easy to go through life selflessly, simply going with the flow. But what if we could truly live according to our wishes? Let’s take the time to listen to ourselves, define our desires, and confidently say ‘no’ to what doesn’t align with them.
“The first secret of getting what you want is knowing what you want.” — Arthur D. Hlavaty
“The first step to getting what you want is to have the courage to get rid of what you don’t.” — Zig Ziglar
“It’s only by saying NO that you can concentrate on the things that are really important.” – Steve Jobs
The Importance of Asking for What You Want
Speaking up for what you desire is the first step toward receiving it. Opportunities rarely come to those who remain silent. By expressing your needs, you allow others to support you and pave the way for what you seek.
“You get in life what you have the courage to ask for.” – Oprah Winfrey
“Asking is the beginning of receiving. Make sure you don’t go to the ocean with a teaspoon. At least take a bucket so the kids won’t laugh at you.” – Jim Rohn
“Ask for what you want and be prepared to get it.” – Maya Angelou
“The great secret of getting what you want from life is to know what you want and believe you can have it.” — Norman Vincent Peale
Because You Deserve It
Asking for what you want is not selfish—it’s an act of self-love. As Mel Robbins once said, when you ask, you’re giving yourself permission to seek what you truly deserve. Advocating for yourself isn’t just healthy; it’s necessary for living authentically.
“You are worthy of all the things you’ve been afraid to ask for.” – Unknown
“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.” – Maya Angelou
“You have to fight for the things that are worth it in life. And you are worth it.” – Jennifer Lopez
“The moment you realize your own worth, the game changes. You’re no longer asking for permission, you’re making demands because you deserve them.” – Viola Davis
“You deserve to have a great life. So ask for it. Work for it. And most importantly, believe you deserve it.” – Oprah Winfrey
“Don't apologize for asking for what you deserve.” — Mika Brzezinski
“Know your worth. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you deserve, because you are worth every bit of it.” – Unknown
Ultimately, Whether You Deserve It or Not
While we all deserve to achieve our desires, that’s not the only point. The most important factor is deciding what you want, believing you can have it, working toward it, and taking action to claim it.
“In this life, it's not what you hope for, it's not what you deserve—it's what you take!” — Tom Cruise
“Life never gives you what you deserve but what you decided.” — Tara Fela-Durotoye
“In life, you don't get what you deserve; you get what you believe, plan, and expect.” — Bill Bartmann
“I’ve found that luck is quite predictable. If you want more luck, take more chances. Be more active. Show up more often.” — Brian Tracy
Don’t Let Your Fear Prevent You from Asking for What You Want
Fear of rejection often holds us back from asking, but it shouldn’t stop us. Rejections might feel like a sign that we don’t deserve what we want, but the truth is, you should ask anyway. Here’s why...
“If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.” – Nora Roberts
“Closed mouths don’t get fed.” – Proverb
“Learn to ask for what you want. The worst people can do is not give you what you ask for, which is precisely where you were before you asked.” — Peter McWilliams
Asking for what we want is often one of the most difficult yet essential actions we can take in life. Whether it's a personal goal, a career move, or something we desire in our relationships, speaking up can feel daunting. Yet, the power of asking is undeniable—it opens doors, sets boundaries, and gives others the opportunity to meet our needs.
Let these quotes serve as a reminder that knowing what we want and asking for it is the first step toward living a life that truly reflects our desires.
Of course, we won’t always get exactly what we ask for. But sometimes, the rejection we face can be the lesson we need to prepare us for something greater down the road.
As Tony Robbins once said, “Sometimes, not getting what you want can be the most valuable experience of your entire life.”
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